My Family Told Me I Couldn’t be a Mom

I was privileged. I had a blessed childhood. I took gymnastics, was a champion swimmer, and was a prominent member of the country club. I can’t complain. Fast forward to my early twenties…….

I was 22 years old. I began dating a boy that my family didn’t think was good enough for me. I became pregnant.

I was called home (one that I shared with my mother). My brother and my mother called me for a meeting. We all sat down around the kitchen table. “So you’re going to have a baby?” my brother questioned. “Yes.” I replied. Small talk, more questions, and words of disbelief continued. “How are you going to do this? You can’t take care of a baby” my brother said.

My mind went wild. “What?” I said. At that present moment I worked as a “Mental Health Associate” at a children’s psychiatric hospital. Previously, I was employed as a 3-year-old preschool teacher. In high-school I worked as a lifeguard and I babysat MANY children. “You don’t think I can handle a child,” I said.

I have NEVER forgotten that day. You know what I told them? “Ummmmm……YES! I CAN take care of a child!”

Fast forward 10 years…….I now have THREE children, by the same father. Did I (we) struggle? Yes! But, doesn’t EVERY young parent struggle?

Throughout this journey I grew distant from my family. My children and their births were NEVER celebrated. However, I will make it known that my MOTHER did support me as much as she could.

I am now 33 years old. While pregnant, raising children, and working through an unsupported relationship, I earned a Bachelors and Masters Degree. It’s been HARD, but my family has now learned to accept and love one another… matter the circumstances.

It all began in 2008… is now 2019. I have TWO BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS and ONE BEAUTIFUL SON! It truly is a dream come true. This is my DREAM family and it has been HARD to maintain. I have questioned MY abilities and wondered if the struggle I have endured was going to be worth my time. My children are wonderful. My children are healthy. My children know the meaning of acceptance and love. My children are kind and beautiful. My children know that you NEVER give up on family. We are close. We love each other. We know we are the ones who will ALWAYS be there.

God was my Savior. It took MANY YEARS to feel okay. I have felt unworthy. I have felt less of a person. I thought I wasn’t good enough. My FAITH in the LORD now lets me know I am enough and so is my family.

Family may be people you are raised by and around in the beginning of your life….however, family are those that accept you.

Everyone struggles, everyone has difficulties. You may not understand them but why does that make you a better person? My family are those that will not give up on me, will not talk down to/about me, those that always support me…no matter what.

We” have created a family. One that I love more than anything. We may not be perfect. We may not do everything right. We may not be the best people 100% of the time…..however, we know that we SUPPORT one another…..NO MATTER WHAT!

If you aren’t supported when you are a first time, second time, 20th time mother….who cares. Do you LOVE your children? Are you DOING YOUR BEST? Create a family…..don’t be ashamed. Love and protect those you have created. Appreciate, accept, and help ALL those in your life!

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